


The Tournament of Socks

by ScreamoShaymin



Category: Dead Space, Jak and Daxter, Street Fighter
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Short, Short One Shot, Socks, Tournaments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 11:25:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3976327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScreamoShaymin/pseuds/ScreamoShaymin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaac Clarke definitely needs a new pair of socks. He'll go to any extremes to get them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tournament of Socks

**Author's Note:**

> This story was a collaboration between two of my friends and me. We worked on this for hours and hours… Well, not really. It was written in about twenty minutes.  
> Dead Space © EA, Street Fighter © Capcom, Jak and Daxter © Naughty Dog.

“My foot hurts,” said Isaac. The Necromorph chimed with delight.  
“Yesh… Yesh, I bet it doesh. It would be a shame if shomeone were to… shlash off your head.”  
“Yeah… that would be kinda bad. Mind if you don’t do that?”  
“Oh, shure… shure,” Sean Connermorph said.  
“I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the hole in my sock,” Isaac said.  
Sean Connermorph came back with “Yesh, that’sh why you were down in the laundry room.”  
“I need new socks, and I don’t understand why the laundry room didn’t have any… I guess I’ll just have to win the socks in a tournament,” Isaac decided.  
Sean Connermorph said, “No, no need to go to such extremesh; There’sh probably shome shomewhere on the next ship.”  
“No no no… no… no. I’ve already looked on the ship… no… But there is a Street Fighter tournament on Earth. I guess if it is what I must do.”  
“It’sh jusht a hole in the shock,” Connermorph replied. “I think you’ll be fine.”  
Isaac whined. “But my foot huuurts!”  
Sean sighed. “You’ve had shcrapesh and bruishesh much worshe than that blishter on your foot. You can hold out until the creditsh.”  
“Too late, I already signed up.”  
“What? How long ago?”  
“Just now.”  
“What the hell? Why did you do thish? You could have finished the game!”  
“Meh… I need new socks,” Isaac readied the teleporter.

 

Isaac and Sean Connermorph were at the tournament in less than a minute. Actually, it was less than a second… but nevertheless. Ken walked up to the duo.  
“HEY GUYS YOU READY TO GO FIGHT SOME PEOPLE I’M READY TO GO FIGHT SOME PEOPLE YOU READY TO GO FIGHT SOME PEOPLE LET’S GO FIGHT SOME PEOPLE!” he shouted and ran off.  
“Well, that wash totally inappropriate,” Sean said.  
“That’s not inappropriate. THIS is inappropriate,” Isaac said before he started shouting every swear word in existence… including those from other languages.  
“Yesh, yesh, totally inappropriate, let’s hurry up and finish the tournament sho you can get your measly shocks!”  
The tournament had begun, and many of the fighters were K.O.’d right from the beginning from total nervousness.  
The first fight was between Ryu and Major Bison. Long story short, Ryu won.  
The second fight was between Ken and Chun-Li. Chun-Li whooped his ass.  
The third fight was between Baraka and Barack Obama. Obama won because politics. Thanks, Obama!  
“Wow, Obama made five new laws after that fight. What a man!” Isaac said.  
“Not a man if I can’t park my Priush on the shide of the road anymore,” Sean Connermorph said.  
Ken walked back up to them. “Hey, guys… I don’t want to fight anymore. You guys want to fight anymore? I don’t wanna fight anymore,” he said in a dull, broken, painful voice.  
Isaac laughed for about ten minutes. “Don’t worry, I’ll win those socks for you! Well… They’re for me, but I’ll win them for you!”  
Sean Connermorph. “YESH, LETSH GET ON WITH IT SO I CAN GET MY PRIUSH OFF THE CURB SHO IT DOESN’T GET TOWED!”  
Before he finished, the next fight was ready to go. This time it was between Isaac and Jak and Daxter, who came through the warp gate. They were not invited, but we let them in anyways.  
“Aw yeah, this is my turn! I’m gonna win those so—“  
“Jak and Daxter win!” the announcer announced. Sean Connermorph laughed.  
“Ha, ha hah ha! Ha hah! Good luck getting your shocks now, you panshy. Now let’s go get my Priush!”  
“But I really needed those socks!” Isaac griped.  
“Let’sh jusht go to the shtore and buy you shome shocks!”  
“…No…” Isaac said. “This is my destiny. I must save the Ishimura!”  
“What? What do you mean Ishimura?” Sean Connermorph asked.  
“You know… first Dead Space game? The name of the… ah, whatever.”  
Isaac started to pull out his plasma cutter.  
“Wh-what are you doing?” Sean Connermorph said, frightened.  
“I WANT THOSE SOCKS!” Isaac shouted.  
Now, for reasons pertaining to the FCC and all the worried parents out there, we’re going to leave the rampage out of the story. Please understand.  
“Oh my goodnesh, you jusht wiped out the entire human rashe!”  
“Yep…” Isaac said. “Like a boss.”  
“No, not like a bossh, more like a maniac!”  
“But I got my socks!”  
“A-aww aw! You scratched my Priush!”  
“Aaand I got my socks!”  
“WHO GIVES A RAT’SH HAIRY BUTTOCKSH! MY PRIUSH!”  
Jak and Daxter looked at him. “You know, if you wanted socks, all you had to do was ask. We have billions of them on our planet.”  
“Oh, shure… Jak and Daxter. I forgot he only wiped out the human rashe. But wait, aren’t you technically human?”  
“Uh, no no… don’t worry about that!”  
“Too late!” Isaac said as –  
We interrupt again to bring you Sean Connermorph’s Prius Talk Show Hour!  
“They make me shay a bunch of eshes from the teleprompter. Then they laugh at me from behind the camerash. At leasht they gave me a free Priush, which Isaac scratched!”  
“I said sorry!” a voice called from backstage.  
“No you didn’t!”  
“Yes I did… just… not out loud.”  
“You need to go back to your own univershe, mishter. We have a game to finish. Oh, how I will enjoy killing you…”  
“…Neh. I got socks. I’m fine.”


End file.
